As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
it's great music for shaving your balls
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
