Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Who died my cat blue again?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
