every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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