No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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