69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
