2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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