she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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