I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
