I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize