I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
