Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
