did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
