She announced her abortion via fbk
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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