Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
