that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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