dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
