I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
