Whod you bang
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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