My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
