Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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