Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
