"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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