This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize