just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize