I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
