I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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