im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
