who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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