Just mADE A PArabola og urine
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
