No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
