I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
