I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize