Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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