i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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