He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
