He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
