Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
zippers are such a cool invention
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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