Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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