He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
