party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We're too hungover to prance.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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