they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
