are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
