his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
