if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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