OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize