a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
