She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
