the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
