I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
