Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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