Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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