Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
