the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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