hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
