I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
