the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
