Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
