I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
