apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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