Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
