Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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