oh god the rape fog is back!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
