They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize