Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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