Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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