:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
