Just fell off a train. Bad.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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