Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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