Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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