just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
