Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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