As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
