Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
