we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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