i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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